I tend to hold back information I put on my blog for fear that it may upset someone. I’ve held back pictures, oh the pictures I’ve wanted to post.
But now I just wanted to let you know that I had a heart attack on Saturday. I suffered through it for 15 16 hours at least, maybe more. My wife came home from work and drove me to the hospital. (I told her it was merely indigestion.) I would not go in however once we got there, thinking of the last time I went. They poked and prodded me all night and finally said that nothing was wrong, so I didn’t want to go. Instead I went home and lay down on the couch and continued to have a heart attack all night, telling myself it was indigestion and that it would all be over soon.
I went to the local physician yesterday, had an EKG. I go in tomorrow for the catheter and stint. I am still in somewhat of a state of denial. I am only 35. What does this say about the way I’ve treated my body?
The trigger was when I over exerted myself Saturday afternoon. I live a sedentary lifestyle and should not have been chopping through thick vines and brush with a hand saw and onlt my bare hands. I never forget who I once was. The reason I cut through that stuff like it wasn’t even there in fraction of the time it should have taken is the same reason, even if I haven’t drank in over a year, that I will match shot for shot, beer for beer, with anyone from the "old gang." (Most of the old gang is in prison by the way). It’s who I once was. But, clearly, those days are gone now. I can’t walk ten feet without having to lie down for an hour. I am so tired.
But now I just wanted to let you know that I had a heart attack on Saturday. I suffered through it for 15 16 hours at least, maybe more. My wife came home from work and drove me to the hospital. (I told her it was merely indigestion.) I would not go in however once we got there, thinking of the last time I went. They poked and prodded me all night and finally said that nothing was wrong, so I didn’t want to go. Instead I went home and lay down on the couch and continued to have a heart attack all night, telling myself it was indigestion and that it would all be over soon.
I went to the local physician yesterday, had an EKG. I go in tomorrow for the catheter and stint. I am still in somewhat of a state of denial. I am only 35. What does this say about the way I’ve treated my body?
The trigger was when I over exerted myself Saturday afternoon. I live a sedentary lifestyle and should not have been chopping through thick vines and brush with a hand saw and onlt my bare hands. I never forget who I once was. The reason I cut through that stuff like it wasn’t even there in fraction of the time it should have taken is the same reason, even if I haven’t drank in over a year, that I will match shot for shot, beer for beer, with anyone from the "old gang." (Most of the old gang is in prison by the way). It’s who I once was. But, clearly, those days are gone now. I can’t walk ten feet without having to lie down for an hour. I am so tired.
3 Comments:
I am sorry to hear about your heart attack. I hope you are feeling a little better and getting good care. I understand about wanting to post things and not doing so. I also understand about not being the person you used to be and about being tired. Sending good thoughts to you my friend. Get well, the world needs poets.
Oh honey rest well and build your strength, we want you around for a long time to come, because WE love you and we are selfish, well I am.
Damn I had no idea.
Need to check on you more often.
love and healing ju ju
*tears
Thank you.
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