Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I tend to hold back information I put on my blog for fear that it may upset someone. I’ve held back pictures, oh the pictures I’ve wanted to post.

But now I just wanted to let you know that I had a heart attack on Saturday. I suffered through it for 15 16 hours at least, maybe more. My wife came home from work and drove me to the hospital. (I told her it was merely indigestion.) I would not go in however once we got there, thinking of the last time I went. They poked and prodded me all night and finally said that nothing was wrong, so I didn’t want to go. Instead I went home and lay down on the couch and continued to have a heart attack all night, telling myself it was indigestion and that it would all be over soon.

I went to the local physician yesterday, had an EKG. I go in tomorrow for the catheter and stint. I am still in somewhat of a state of denial. I am only 35. What does this say about the way I’ve treated my body?

The trigger was when I over exerted myself Saturday afternoon. I live a sedentary lifestyle and should not have been chopping through thick vines and brush with a hand saw and onlt my bare hands. I never forget who I once was. The reason I cut through that stuff like it wasn’t even there in fraction of the time it should have taken is the same reason, even if I haven’t drank in over a year, that I will match shot for shot, beer for beer, with anyone from the "old gang." (Most of the old gang is in prison by the way). It’s who I once was. But, clearly, those days are gone now. I can’t walk ten feet without having to lie down for an hour. I am so tired.

3 Comments:

Blogger Rain said...

I am sorry to hear about your heart attack. I hope you are feeling a little better and getting good care. I understand about wanting to post things and not doing so. I also understand about not being the person you used to be and about being tired. Sending good thoughts to you my friend. Get well, the world needs poets.

4:21 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

Oh honey rest well and build your strength, we want you around for a long time to come, because WE love you and we are selfish, well I am.

Damn I had no idea.

Need to check on you more often.

love and healing ju ju

4:18 PM  
Blogger Sir James Eric Watkins said...

*tears

Thank you.

2:36 PM  

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