Well

I created this blog to share my poetry, but tonight I write to be writing, to be talking. I have a lot to say. At the top of my morning is a star, my brother's first child. I cry now at the mere mention of the word child. But today it is a *smilecry that I have on my face. I read that word in a poem today while thinking of the child. I cry again. But you know, "I thought I'd something more to say." And indeed I do.

I hope my brother will take our legacy of violence and insanity, crumble it up, toss it in the backseat like a mad man tosses a speeding ticket written by an intimidated Georgia state trooper. And speeds away. Far away never to look back. Teach him a better way. Better than we have been taught. Teach him that the shame not lie in crying, but in not feeling, not knowing all that is beautiful in this world. Teach him that sadness, oh the sadness, doesn't have to tower over him. It doesn't have to love him in that strange way that sadness has loved us.

I guess the point is I love my brother. I like to think we are special. Not because we're better than someone else, or could harm them, or are more talented than others, but because we made it. We made it through that shithole life. We stand here proud men, today with YOUR son. I will protect him the way an angel's flaming sword might protect Eden.

I've switched zig zag my tenses here. But that's how I am right now. Raw. Sniffling. A true zig zag man for sure. The other fucking thing that on my mind is a terrible fucked up fucking wrong that has occurred to my friend Joe. Joe's a big mother fucker. 6' 8" or so. 260. Been my nearly my best friend through my teens and twenties. We were really something. Stupid. The cops were afraid of us. I digress. Anyway, my friend Joe is feuding with his dad's renters. The state police has been poking around, busting meth. That god damn evil fucked up shit. But Joe doesn’t fuck around. He drinks beer. Acts goofy. Is fun to be around. So joe knows his rights. He tells the mother fuckers (or officers) to leave. They don't like the words he used, so he cracks Joe in the shin. Joe goes inside. Four Kentucky State Police officers follow him into the house. Mace him. Beat him. And take him to jail. ALL in front of his children and wife. His son nearly got his head taken off by one the cops flashlights. There were witness. tHEY SHOULD LOSS their fucking jobs. But who knows in this crooked fucked up town., AHHHHHHHHHH!!